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InspirEd2024 - Hannah Beach - Session 3: The Emotional Roots of Aggression and Anxiety - Part 3

 So what's the answer? 

  • Comes in two parts: Kids need...a place to feel safe and a safe place to feel. And these are not the same thing. 
  • We need things that will bring us to our feelings:
    • Play
    • Music
    • Drama, great theatre
  • Play is where you get to process emotions without having to feel them yourself.
  • Attachment isn't about love and liking. It's a very specific dynamic.
    • When there are equal amounts of warmth and firmness, attachment is unconsciously cued. 
    • Attachment happens when a child feels very safe to follow your lead. 
    • Warmth + Firmness = Caring Leadership
  • Kids feel safe when they can emotionally rest on a caring adult. 

The Primary Instruments of Attachment
  • Collecting is the art of connecting
    • Make eye contact, say "Good morning" (with teens, don't ask questions!)
    •  Collecting before directing: chance of following directions is massively increased
      • Many of our students need to be collected before every time they're directed
    • Collective practices that are intentional to collect our "prickliest", most difficult students. 
    • Beginning class with collections, actions that say "we are now a we"
    • Activating the relationship
    • Individual relationship
    • Collect the peer leader: if you know there is one student that the class always follows, do your best to collect that student
  • Bridging:  
    • Every time you say no to a child, make sure you're warm before they are (later in the day)
      • Show the students "we're still good"
    • Relationship should never be a reward!
    • Kids need to know that our warmth is there no matter what. We still have consequences, etc, but our relationship is always there. 
  • Matchmaking: the art of passing on the attachment baton
    • Once a kid is attached to you, you have the ability to pass on that attachment to the next person
    • Children need their attachments to be on the same side (parents, step-parents, teachers, etc working together)
    • Parachute students to each other -- we are a VILLAGE, not just separate classrooms. 
Take a child-centred approach, not a child-led approach
"read the need and take the lead"

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